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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24858589">just take 'em</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ays/pseuds/ays'>ays</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack Relationships, Established Relationship, F/M, Just for the Giggles, No Uchiha Massacre, idk ????, idk why, like literally do not expect anything, non massacre au, this is so stupid, written when i was drunk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:08:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,033</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24858589</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ays/pseuds/ays</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Or the one where obliviousness is a Konoha trait and Sakura decides to stop by the flower shop.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Itachi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>163</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>just take 'em</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Haruno Sakura was a creature of feeble mind. It was known throughout the whole of Konoha, that if the sun was sure to set in the west then the Hokage's apprentice was sure to change ideas with a gust of wind.</p>
<p>Her friends never held it against her, too used to her indecisive heart. They remembered how nine year old Sakura had been interested in genjutsu, a fervid puppy lover and Ino Yamanaka's best friend. And then there was twelve years old Sakura, a freshly graduated genin who lived and breathed for Sasuke, scrunched her nose at the smell of basil and ate too little, few times.</p>
<p>Fifteen years old Sakura had been, for many, the weirdest one. Pink hair tied in a low ponytail, green eyes sharper than usual and stomach eager to taste every spice in the world, she spent most of her days off from missions and special training knitting, of all things (no one was surprised, however, when the pinkette started hanging around Chouji and his family at least once a week, nor did they complain when they had their winter closets cut out for them; Sakura had a keen talent for knitting, no matter how weird it was to see her sitting in the Hokage's office with glasses on and colorful balls of yarn surrounding her).</p>
<p>Currently, nineteen years old Sakura Haruno adored sweets and turned the other way when faced with seasoned food, liked to wake up at the crack of dawn and run laps around Konoha until the late morning and hated, hated with all her heart, the Uchiha clan.</p>
<p>It was known that Sakura's tastes weren't the only ones to constantly change; her moods were, in reality, the most dangerous (and endearing, some would admit) part of her disheveled persona. Because if Sakura's tastes changed with the new seasons, then her moods were even more precocious than that.</p>
<p>And it was in one of those occasions, that Sakura Haruno found herself trying to kill a fellow Konoha shinobi. Well, not kill kill... she would probably stop at crippling, but she knew there was a fine (very thin, barely there) line between crippling and smashing his head into the ground until she saw blood when it came to her teammate.</p>
<p>(It was a running gag that the Uchiha Massacre that had been stopped over ten years ago, thanks to the Hokage's ANBUs intercepting Danzo's order, would be single handedly executed by Sakura Haruno – all because Sasuke Uchiha couldn't discern his teammate and close friend's bad moods from the good ones.)</p>
<p>"Sakura-chan, let's calm down!" called Naruto from the other side of the training ground, tanned hands flailing in the air and blue eyes wide. Sakura didn't spare him a glance, too focused on her other teammate – still standing, if wobbly. Sakura was sure that the most remote part of her brain had registered the blond's words (and probably scoffed at them! Naruto, telling her to calm down?!), but it mattered nothing when the topic her Uchiha (hers!) had breached kept repeating in her head.</p>
<p>Sasuke's dark eyes were blown wide, the regal paleness of his skin looking sicker by the minute. His right hand was covering his thigh, droplets of blood slowly staining the grass under their feet.</p>
<p>Sakura, under any other circumstances, would have felt guilty about hurting her teammate. Even when they sparred, she usually held most of her unnatural strength back – crippling her best friends was the last thing she wanted to do, usually. But, usually, said best friends didn't go around making bets in her name.</p>
<p>That was a low that even Tsunade, in all her unlucky gambler glory, hadn't reached before.</p>
<p>"You have five seconds to start explaining Sasuke or I swear I'll take your head right off," she growled, emerald eyes narrowed dangerously at her best friend. Naruto had reached them by the time she finished her threat, chest heaving and blue eyes full of pity towards their Uchiha teammate.</p>
<p>Sakura was sure that if Sasuke had been thinking logically (which, he hadn't!), he would've sent a glare towards their empathetic blond. He, for once, clearly knew his priorities however.</p>
<p>The tiny, rational part of Sakura's mind was screaming at her – Sasuke didn't mean to make her mad, it was all done in complete innocence, the idiot couldn't know she had woken up with a stinging behind her eyes and the need to bash someone's face in! – but she ignored it. She had always been good at ignoring things.</p>
<p>Sasuke swallowed and scratched at his head, his neck lenght dark hair sticking to his neck. If Sakura had been her twelve years old self, she was sure she would have swooned at the sight of the short half ponytail and the long lashes framing his eyes – but Sakura wasn't and all she was thinking about right now were methods on how to make him bald.</p>
<p>(She considered ripping his hair one by one, after poisoning him with one of her best paralytics; or maybe sneaking into his room at night and going at it the old way, razor in hand.)</p>
<p>"Shisui kept talking and you know how annoying he gets!" he excused himself, frustration clear in his voice. They ignored Naruto's pained sounds ("Annoying? You always say we're the same! Do you think I'm annoying too?!") and Sasuke cleared his throat.</p>
<p>"So, you fell for it?" she said through gritted teeth, fists clenching.</p>
<p>If there was something that everyone knew, it was that Uchiha Shisui had made it his life's ultimate goal to taunt his baby cousin. Sakura had to admit, the provocations were entertaining and creative, but hell that had been when she wasn't involved. The idea that, for some reason, she had been thrown into this bet of theirs was making her crazy.</p>
<p>"What's the bet anyway?" asked Naruto, a pout still straining his lips after being ignored for so long.</p>
<p>And when Sasuke paled even more, forehead covered in sweat and muscles tensing as if to run away, Sakura knew.</p>
<p>That joke about the Uchiha Massacre happening by her hands might as well have some truth into it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Uchiha Itachi was having a bad week. First, he was assigned to the most boring and obnoxious mission he ever had since his genin days (because, apparently, babysitting the Daimyo's daughter and making sure Tora the damned cat didn't scratch her was an A class), then he returned to Konoha to find out that Shisui had apparently messed with his little brother again.</p>
<p>Not that he could do much about it. Shisui had a keen eye for weaknesses and Itachi was pretty sure if he ever tried to stop him from antagonizing Sasuke, he would become the fresh prey.</p>
<p>(He was glad, in all reality, that Shisui's provocations never went too far with him – a limit he clearly didn't have when it concerned Sasuke.)</p>
<p>Itachi didn't know the inner workings of it, but he was smart enough not to comment when his little brother returned to their shared apartment with a bloody nose and a shiny looker on his left eye.</p>
<p>Sasuke didn't speak either, heading straight into the kitchen and making a mess of their freezer. He returned to the living room with a packet of peas pressed to his face and a pout on his lips.</p>
<p>Perhaps Itachi should have been worried, but his little brother's pouting didn't help with calming the laugh bubbling in his throat. He bit back a smile and looked expectantly at him, sure he would get the message and talk.</p>
<p>"Sakura refused to heal it," he muttered, flinching slightly when he pressed tighter. "Said she'll give me another if I go to Ino's for a healing."</p>
<p>Itachi sipped at his tea, hiding the smirk behind the china cup. Sakura had always had a fine right hook, and if the fact that Sasuke was still alive meant she hadn't used any chakra, then it was all for the better.</p>
<p>He had a bad week, true, but Konoha had always had the ability to make him relax.</p>
<p>"This is your fault."</p>
<p>Or not.</p>
<p>Itachi's eyebrow twitched.</p>
<p>"How is that?" he asked, getting up to put his empty cup in the sink. It was Sasuke's turn to do the dishes and Itachi hid the cringe that threatened to color his face when he saw the amount of dirty plates and pans.</p>
<p>(Sometimes he wondered why he had agreed in rooming with his little brother, when he could barely look after himself when he was out on a mission.)</p>
<p>Sasuke muttered under his breath, before speaking clearly. "It's because you refuse to date. Aniki, get a girlfriend."</p>
<p>"Sakura punched you because of that?"</p>
<p>Sasuke paled and Itachi had to hide his chuckle, an image of pink locks and chakra enhanced fists flashing through his mind.</p>
<p>"N-no," stammered Sasuke. "It was because I was late to training."</p>
<p>Itachi sighed when Sasuke ran to his room, the iced packet of peas forgotten on the couch. He wouldn't call him out on his lie.</p>
<p>He was sure the next few weeks would turn out to be fun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The dango shop was, as usual, the last stop of the morning for Sakura.</p>
<p>Every morning she would drag herself out of bed just before the clock hit five, dress herself in shorts and a baggy t-shirt she had stolen from someone's closet, and start her endurance training. She didn't bother with her hair, instead tying them up in a messy bun at the top of her head, and jumped out of her window.</p>
<p>She ran laps around Konoha's walls for four hours, not using chakra, before slipping back through her bedroom window. Then she would take a nice bath and brush her long hair while she read a medical scroll, before dragging herself back to her bedroom.</p>
<p>Now in another pair of shorts and a shirt with the Uchiha fan stitched on the back, she walked her way to Mitarashi's Dango in a leisure step.</p>
<p>There was a bouquet of flowers she had picked up at the Yamanaka's shop in her hands, just for the hell of it, and a cryptic smile etched on her face.</p>
<p>While Sakura had been mad (raging, really) when Sasuke told her what the bet was about, or rather who, it was more because they did this behind her back. Sakura had no real problem with it, it was actually fun to her.</p>
<p>She knew the Uchihas (and most of her friends, to be honest) were oblivious, but she didn't expect it to be this bad.</p>
<p>She entered the shop with a grin, hugging the bouquet of Gardenias and Forget-Me-Not a bit closer to her chest; she sensed her friends' chakras to the right and briefly met eyes with them, before turning around.</p>
<p>Ino was probably having a fit, she was sure, at the sight of her with romantic flowers in hand and heading straight to another table.</p>
<p>She kept her pace steady and gave a charming smile to Shisui, who was looking at her like she killed his favourite puppy, before directing her vibrant eyes to Itachi.</p>
<p>His eyes twinkled under the light and Sakura had to bite back a chuckle at the look he was sending her.</p>
<p>He offered her a dango stick and Sakura snatched it easily, almost moaning at the sweet taste of the treat.</p>
<p>"Sakura, what are you doing here?" asked Shisui, his eyes trailing over her shirt. He was sure he had seen it somewhere already, but he couldn't pinpoint where.</p>
<p>"I'm confessing," she drawled after she swallowed the last of her dango.</p>
<p>"Itachi, these are for you. I was told your brother and cousin are looking to find you a girlfriend, so I figured, why not?"</p>
<p>On the right, Sakura was sure she had just heard Ino choke. Naruto's laugh was loud and she was sure it was directed at both Ino, Sasuke's fish out of water expression and Shisui's own choking.</p>
<p>Itachi chuckled, head resting on his palm and dark eyes focused on her own viridian ones.</p>
<p>"Sakura, we've been dating for seven months."</p>
<p>She grinned, soaking in the sudden silence of the store. "Eh, just take 'em."</p>
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